24 Jan 2018

Lord I Believe; Help My Unbelief

Recently I’ve found myself continually praying for trust. For trust in the Lord, in his plan and in my life. As I come to him in all my brokenness, I cling to him and his promise. Yet even in those moments of prayer, my mind continues to wander and worry. I’ve slowly realized my desperate desire to know his plan and my future.

Sometimes I can’t help but ask why, “Lord, why am I in this school?” “Why am I so restless?” “Why do I feel so hopeless?” And sometimes It gets to a point where I’ll even think think to myself, Lord do you hear me? But he waits for me to listen. What I’ve realized is, too often I speak and worry so much that I don’t allow myself to listen. Even in my prayers my mind wanders because in the back of my head I want to trust myself. And it wasn’t till yesterday morning as I was driving to school and listening to a podcast, that this verse truly popped out to me and I could relate to the father who is desperate to believe. Who wants to trust Jesus with his son’s life, yet he’s overwhelmed and so anxious, he simply can’t.

“Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, I believe; help my unbelief!”
-Mark 9:24

And that was me, as I prayed over and over, yet I felt I still didn’t trust Him. As I deeply desired to trust him and felt so restless, I started to let Satan breathe his lies into my life. Saying I didn’t know the Lord, that I wasn’t good enough, and I soon felt as if I was amidst a spiritual and physical funk. I had no motivation to do anything, felt worthless and dreaded going back to school. This was unlike me and I wanted to flee from these thoughts but continued to invite them into my heart. In doing so I gave Satan what he wants. I allowed his lies to cloud my mind from the beauty of God and his plan for my life. Satan hates when we rejoice. Especially when we praise God even amidst our suffering. So yesterday morning as I stepped out of the car to go to school I said, “not today Satan, not today.” I refuse to let him ruin my peace and stunt my spiritual growth and trust! Jesus always wins, always! Praise him through everything, amidst you’re suffering and pain, praise him for that which you have not seen, the unknown to your life. Praise him for where he has you now, every little detail! Praise him for his steadfast love! He knows and loves you beyond either one of our understandings.

Psalm 118
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever!
2 Let Israel say,
“His steadfast love endures forever.”
3 Let the house of Aaron say,
“His steadfast love endures forever.”
4 Let those who fear the Lord say,
“His steadfast love endures forever.”

So in times where you feel restless and lost, where despite your strongest effort to trust the Lord, you continue to fall short. I want you to pray the same words that the child’s father said to Jesus, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

xx Sasha

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  • These leopard flats have been my go-to shoe for almost every outfit! They're so comfortable and who doesn't love a pop of leopard to a sweater and jeans!
  • This week has been crazy! Missing half a week of high school because of the flu caused me to get super behind on both my school work and blog work! Thanks for being patient with me while I find my balance again! I want to share a story from yesterday, I was making up one of the the many math quizzes I missed and to be honest math just isn't my thing! I don't know how I took two math classes last year and frankly I'd be fine with never taking another one again! I'm currently in honors pre-calc and often find myself feeling like I understand what I'm doing until I take the quiz or test. And of course the same thing happened yesterday and I got a 76 on my quiz again. That's not normal for me, I've always been a straight A student but I feel like I'm on a C streak right now because I just can't get my math grade to budge, and that's really disappointing. I've never been one to get upset over a bad grade, but being so overwhelmed it just hit me and I had no appetite for lunch, I didn't want to talk to any of my friends, so I literally went to the bathroom and shed a few tears lol. But my point is that I don't want y'all to do this, take my story as an example of what not to do! Because your identity isn't in a grade or assignment but in Christ, and nothing can shake Christ's love for you! Fast forward to the end of the day and I finally popped into J.Crew and treated myself to a few pieces including this adorable top which is an extra 30% off (I think I got it for under $35!) #fashionblogger #jcrew #ginghamtop #ncblogger
  • Happy Valentine's friends! I hope your day has been filled with lots of chocolate! I don't have very big plans for tonight unless you count watching the women's giant slalom and eating ice cream with my sister lol! Watching the Olympics nightly has been our favorite thing to do this week, Sean White's win last night was crazy! Do you have any plans for tonight?
  • A sweater and coffee kind of day☕️Made it through Monday so I treated myself to a Whole Foods trip and some dairy free ice cream! Shop my outfit under the Instagram tab on my blog.  #fashionblogger #wrapsweater #leopardloafers #ncblogger
  • I've spent the last few days in bed with the flu, and doing a lot of online shopping lol. I wanted to share a quick  bit of the sermon I heard today. In our world we often ask the question why, why are so many people suffering, why is there so much pain, why would God let this happen? But too often we forget the "who" we're talking about. Our conception of God is completely off, he's all powerful and all loving, so he's also all knowing. And if his wisdom is just as great as his power (which literally created the heavens and earth) then what makes us think we can arrogantly assume with our limited knowledge that we are able to perceive every purpose of our infinitely wise God. Think about Job and how God allowed Satan to take away everything he had to show Job's trust and need for the Lord. And although the question why this happened isn't answered in the book of Job or the rest of the Bible, we now read Job to find hope and trust for our suffering. It brings us closer to God and deepens our understanding of him. When you see the beauty of Christ, you stop asking why, and start trusting the who.
  • Today I'm talking all about my favorite type of winter jackets on the blog. I'm really picky when it comes to what type of jacket I like, since some just aren't very flattering. I love the timelessness of quilted jackets and their elegant fit! What is your favorite/most worn jacket?
  • Happy Wednesday y'all! I woke up this morning with a fever, and migraine. I'm actually kind of surprised I didn't get sick sooner since so many colds and the flu are going around. I've been sleeping all day and am just starting to feel a bit better. I've heard a lot about the medicine ball tea from Starbucks and think today might be the perfect day to try it! What are your favorite remedies for colds and flu?
  • The cutest turtleneck to take away your Monday blues! After a long week at school last week and a busy weekend with school dances, and the Super Bowl, I woke up this morning thinking is it the weekend yet? One thing I've been trying to get into the habit of, is leaving myself an hour and a half in the mornings to make breakfast, do a devotional and get ready. Some mornings I'll even listen to a glorious in the mundane podcast (they're so good!) For me half an hour of sleep doesn't make as much of a difference as an extra half an hour to wake up and get ready slowly! Who else needs another day off?
  • Happy Friday babes! I'm sharing some of my favorite things from the month of January on the blog, like these leopard loafers! They're so comfortable, stylish and dress up a sweater and jeans! This weekend I really want to redo my office space! Right now it isn't very organized and the one room I just never got around to designing. I've seen copper clothing racks all over the internet and am dying to have one! They don't seem that difficult to make and I think it'd be fun to do a diy! Would y'all want to see a post about my office makeover? Also what things were you obsessed with this month!?

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